The loss of someone close to us is a cause for sometimes extended grieving. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross worked extensively with grieving patients and she has identified the five stages of grief.

1. Denial. We deny our own feelings by pretending that loss is not happening to us. The shock is painful.

2. Anger. After denial of the pain, we often get angry. Why me, when others are allowed to keep their loved ones? The agony seems overwhelming. We feel trapped.

3. Bargaining. Now we bargain. Looking for an escape, we ask God to change it, remove it, let us avoid it, or stop it. Panic sets in for some when faced with the reality of the death or loss of someone we love.

4. Depression. When bargaining does not work, we work through the search for an immediate solution to what is a long-term difficulty. Here we become honest; the pain is here and it is real. We can allow ourselves to feel, cry, and recall memories. This is the workplace of grief.

5. Acceptance. We get past the pain and slowly begin to accept it. By doing so, we do not forget nor give up. We realize that this pain will always be with us, but in a smaller way. This does not diminish those that we loved, but to survive, we must somehow with God’s help move on.

Although there are five stages, many people move forward and backward many times. Some people get stuck in anger, for example, and never move on. Grief can last as long as two years or more. But we find help in God.